Sometimes I feel like a juggler who tries to keep too many balls in the air. The older you get, the more things you build, and the more balls you have to juggle. A wife, kids, a job, a home, a passion, finances, friends, hobbies, … . Some balls are really fragile, and you do everything not to drop them. They are so important you can’t imagine that they will ever scatter on the floor. Unfortunately, a few months ago, the rug was pulled from under my feet, and everything fell on the floor. I’m still picking up the pieces. Some balls will be broken forever, some will remain damaged, and others I hope to restore. The life and the future I imagined I had, are gone. Sorry for not going into details, it’s just too personal for me.
Game development has always been my greatest passion. My latest project, RPG Playground, was absolutely awesome. Mainly because it gives others the opportunity to create their own games, to feel the joy that I feel when bringing your own world to life. But since August, I couldn’t care less, there were other things on my mind. I was in a really dark and lonely place. I didn’t work on new features, didn’t look at website statistics, didn’t look at the forum. The only thing I did was reply to emails of people asking for help, or when a new update would be released.
When I would normally see a spike like this, it would excite me. I would walk around with a huge smile on my face. But now, I felt nothing, and became really sad for not feeling anything. There was this huge spike, and I couldn’t be bothered. I felt lonely. My life was messed up.
Before August, the plan was to make a huge announcement for RPG Playground and Koonsolo, at the start of 2016. And with huge I mean HUGE. But that too, fell to pieces. I hope to make that same announcement some time in the future, but unfortunately I don’t know when.
Things are improving, writing this post means I’m on the right track again. I want to pick up RPG Playground in the near future, start fixing bugs and implement new features. My passion will return eventually, I’m sure of it.
Right now I need your support more than ever. If you want to help, just send some motivational words my way on twitter, facebook, google+, forum or in the comments below. I already received a lot of your support in the past, and it always gave me an extra boost. Many thanks for that!